Have finally got to point where don’t care about pop anymore. Don’t mean pop music in general but rather the pressure to be pop and to have an album full of choruses. JUST. CHORUSES.

Love it that record labels are so obsessed with an act having 12 ‘POTENTIAL NO.1 SINGLES’ on an album that they actually forget that there needs to be a tiny bit of soul in the music in order for ‘the dumb masses’ to swallow it. NEWS FLASH: It is not 1987 anymore.

Heard the other day that one particular major label is starting to look for acts again that have 3-4 hot single songs and 8 great album tracks. That is quite refreshing. I am very glad to be back in the realm of i-dont-care land again and think I shall stay here for a while. Not even bothered about when album is released-as long as the timing feels right and I am 100% confident that I am delivering a gem to whoever buys it (Hello again, Mother..). Don’t even find failure that scary when I imagine myself being 100% convinced that this record represents me and not 50,000 other people’s sounds. Imagine if you compromised on an album because you thought that would make it successful, only for the album to fail. You would want to kick yourself in the cranium, wouldn’t you. Imagine sitting in your fat-man sweat pants in front of ‘My Super Sweet 16’ for 7 days crying because you could have ‘succeeded’ if you’d done it your own way. Nobody likes a gal in sweatpants- EVERYBODY likes ‘My Super Sweet 16’.

Am open to the idea that my album may come out in January. Feel no need to rush- for who??? Who is the rush for?. Aware that these days the ”dumb masses” move on quickly and everyone likes ‘hit me hit me quick with the big fat chorus’ tracks but I’m not really into that. One day I will post (for hilarity alone) one of my old songs, before I even knew what a chorus really was (this was only 18 months ago. I started late. I WAS NO BRITNEY). Writing songs for the joy of writing and not because you are writing them so that you can be a Poop-Star or get love on radio 1. My true dream is to one day maybe become successful for what I do naturally, proving to people that you do not have to replicate an artist’s perceived successful qualities in order to become popular yourself.

Sometimes feel like I don’t have the energy to do the whole ‘I’m a perfect shiny pop star’ act. And sometimes feel guilty for that. Obviously I sound cynical but that world does not satisfy me because it is hollow and shitty and fake. It feels almost sinful to contemplate spending my life on things like that. I dont think I can imagine trying to get into the celebrity magazine culture and making sure I was ‘spotted’ going shopping or whatever to stay ‘current’. Find it kind of boring and the schmooze-factor of such worlds leaves me feeling angry that I just wasted ‘x’ hrs talking to a bunch of dick heads when I could have been thinking about something awesome on my sofa at home. That is why I prefer to talk to bloggers, because they are like me and don’t care if I a spot on my face/ don’t know or care what is the hottest new designer bag that is obviously going to fleece you of your cash for. I feel like there is a time and a place for the shiny pop act and I am sure my time and place will come.. but I think there is a lot more to life and a lot more to the ‘dumb masses’ than we give ourselves credit for.

Apologies for the subject of music tonight on the bog Have liked steering my blog away from it but we all slip up.

Back soon.


4 Responses to “I AM ACTUALLY NOT A ROBOT.”

  1. Christian Castillo Says:

    I can’t see you being a Britney-pop-star-spotted shopping-must-have-new-everything-type-of-gal and I like that. You’re voice is mesmerizing and I love the fact that you blog and aren’t afraid to speak out a Lily Allen sort (don’t wanna play the compare game though) I mean you know when she could blog about whatever she wanted? The one day she was all, ‘I think I’m fat, I used to think I was normal but now I feel obese!’ and the media completely had a field day and devoured her? I would hate to see that happen to you 😦

    Hope to buy your album whenever it may come out 🙂

  2. jtay2005 Says:

    just remember every fan on here doesn’t like you because of this ‘pop image’ they like you because of what YOU bring to music. yes this sound cheesy but its true, you have a way with words and music and that shows in all your songs. I bet even you posting an old song will show how great you are, you do know everyone will hold you to that 😉
    fuck all this how people see you shit, be selfish do things your way not the public way 🙂

  3. Seej 500 Says:

    You make good music. Pressures on you must suck, I’m sure, but try to keep on making good music. It’s tough, but it has it’s high-points too and that’s what you need to focus on.

    You are wrong about Sweet Sixteen though; it is the worst TV show ever and every single one of those kids should just get a piece of carboard with the words “No, the world does not revolve around you” crudely scrawled on it for their birthday and nothing else. Actually, I might pitch that to MTV….

  4. ihaveahat Says:

    When I was on the dole in 2004 I spent an entire month doing nothing but watching My Super Sweet 16, Cribs and Pimp My Ride. It was the most devastatingly depressing kind of bliss. Simultaneously the kind of life that DREAMS ARE MADE OF and also the kind of shit that makes you want to go mental and slit your wrists.

    No matter how bad things go, I never watched Jeremy Kyle because that’s crap and he thinks he knows everything just because his brother had a drug addiction, and the guests look on bewildered thinking “What has that got to do with my mother beating me senseless when I was a child”?

    And he sits with his legs too far apart.

    I guess what I’m trying to say is, keep going. x

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