TITS & TEETH PART II.

After bemoaning my blessing from ‘Da Lord’ a few weeks back- -ie. i have big boobs- I decided to go get a bra custom made. ‘Naturally’, money is falling out of the sky and the trees, so I went to the bra-maker to the Queen, Rigby & Peller.

Woah. They were amazing.

Woah. I felt weird having to take get naked in front of the measurers.

Woah. It was damn worth it.

Turns out I have been wearing the wrong size bra for 3 years. Turns out I am a 28G. Turns out that this is a real size. Turns out you don’t have to be a porn star to achieve that.
I mean, i didn’t even know this size existed in human nature so am pretty please that I am breaking boob-boundaries yall. Companies don’t make 28’s so in the end got a 30 taken in. Feel like I may just be a child from the waist up but with secret breast implants. Feel like I love this new bra size revelation but only because it is slightly ‘rare’ and therefore makes me feel superficial-style special.

On the down side, its pretty expensive. But I am genuinely really happis to get a bra that fits!!! Ladies- you need to go to this place. I think 70% of women wear the wrong size or something like that anyway.

Yesterday I went to the dentist for my 2nd ‘ make me pretty’ appointment. It took 2.5 hours. That is 150 minutes of having your mouth pulled open like a lady’s Fi-fi in the throws of childbirth. My lips were bleeding and I started to feel very angry and irrational towards the end. I got 6 fillings replaced. It was bloody agony.

I burped two hours later and it was like dentist’s rubber glove had exploded in my mouth. I’m not even joking.

Good night.

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3 Responses to “TITS & TEETH PART II.”

  1. Jelmer Says:

    Dentists are evil…

    Boobs are good…

  2. GrayBabyOracle Says:

    I just wanted to say that I can’t believe more people didn’t post comments on this one. I actually refer to you as 28G at work now. Don’t worry, though. It won’t last. Anyway, my coworkers (almost all females) were very impressed with your size.

  3. fulltext Says:

    The Lord blessed you in more ways than one.

    Wear it in good health!

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